NOTE TO SELF: stay away from losers!

This is number one on my mother's infinite list of wisdom

But how can we? show me a person with no goals or ambitions, indecisive, insecure, vindictive and unimaginative, and i'll show you my new boyfriend.

But what happens when we do finally meet the RIGHT ones? i mean surely, Canada will soon run out of Albanians i can date, so i really do need a back up plan, no?

Smart women, beautiful women, creative and funny women... they so often seem to fall into the strategically placed trap of losers, fall deep and in love. It's frustarting, the amount of advice i have given and has been given to me about the same type of problem, same type of men. the type of man that can never ever possibly give you what you want, the type that feeds on instant gratification, acts on the urges of his implusive emotional imbalance, and of course.... always manages to pick up when his mom calls (or even worse.. his wife)

Perhaps these women are all insecure, looking for some kind of reassurance. I don't suffer from any mommy complex,but why do i feel like i should be held responsible for fixing a damaged human being? Or maybe it's the feeling of control that we need, the control we lose to the thoughtless men that abuse us, that needs to be regained, over and over again. it is the power struggle that excites us, that makes us feel charged with emotion and anxiety. but whatever it is, this addiction cages us into helpless oblivion. We want what we know we shouldn't want and due to that internal struggle,subconsciously begin distrusting all of our instinctual desires and punishing oursleves.

These relationships don't last, let's face it. they dont. and they NEVER will (Amy told me and i believe her!)

Now, the rest of us, (the 'us' i'm referring to is very general.. the sub category i apply to should be obvious to those who know me) are in "healthy" relationships of course. The relationships where wednesday night yoga classes keep things exciting and watching movies, by occurance, outnumbers any type of sexual activity.

"honeeeeyy, can you bring the scissors from the bathroom? i've got an ingrown toe nail and i really want to cut it!"

Who in their right mind opts out for this instead of a wild crazy over dramatic and mentally exrutiating rollercoaster with an emotionally retarded man-child? I mean, i know that romance goes out the window at some point, but the idea of someone asking me to pop their pimple makes me want to drink myself stupid and make some bad decisions.

i'm not saying that these two types of relationships are the only options, but I am saying that.. well... ok,i'm pretty sure these are the only two options. So either we go through life constanly having temporary relationships with women-hating narcisists, or resign to a comfortable, healthy type of love; the type that doesnt give you stomach ulcers, but does give you a collection of useless hobbies and a desire for a vibrator.

Ach.. anyways, while the rest of the albanian immigrants are sill waiting for their landed papers, i'll be here, judging everyone equally and continuing to think my love life is unique, unlike any other, and will be the one to defy all odds..... whatever they may be.