...

i want to be alone with you
locked up, with broken knobs and boarded windows
a prisoner with you, just two of us
like twins in wombs
soaked in each other's palpable existance
our hands to've woven and our breasts
cold and abandoned
finding each others warmth and breath
one breath between us both, my darling
i'd watch you grow and sink
the fluid thickness of our crashing
i want to be alone, just us
us two - alone in death and passion

...

oh mother, you were right
i cried the tears of blood and anguish
the child in me was always asking
for more than life could ever give
i spoke from heart, i gathered ashes
of broken past we left behind
the day we ran to find a freedom
we never knew how to accept
i should've listened when you told me
to hear the words but not believe
i looked for home, a place to suffer
unpack my bags and live in still
the crystal clear of those around us
ballooned and popped, with echos ringing in our hearts
and years like water poured into the ocean
of lessons learned and played out cards
our luck is counted on our fingers,
the fading faces i recall
spring rain is better when with thunder
and we are better than them all

And the sun came. It rose out of the bushes like a frightened butterfly, with rainbow wings and a solemn mission. It held in its hands a new beginning, and with only hours to live, it hummed the melody of sadness. The sky cleared to make room for the seed of light, and clouds- shamed, drifted to another corner of the horizon.. turning into shapes of ocean waves and blackened tears.
I was made of leaves then, and much like leaves, the winter shed me of my color, and dried my veins into a shadow, slowly cracking at my form. I was a child of the wind, and a child of no one. A child who emerged from a womb of liquid and warmth, still and quite, unready – leaving my star behind with no map or direction for return. I crawled out of sin and into sin, from love and into love, from fear and passion into illusion and creation. my feet as a newborn still bore scars from sand and ash.
I craved the sun and the moon and the ocean and the desert, and as a child I wept for them and us, and for words written in the books of our endless mothers and fathers. I wept for the song of a nightingale, and for the dying breath of a slaughtered pig. My tears wrought themselves into my lungs and heart, and when a dying animal lay on the street, I believed I was its only shepherd, and in me, I held the repenting for its every sin.

don't forget me

don't forget me
and if you do, don't forget my shadow
my forms, and how your fingers would always linger on my back
if you forget me, love me more
for it is love that's lost that makes love deeper
the way dreams unfulfilled make one a dreamer
the lost road home

i won't forget you
but if i do, i will remember heat of sleeping bodies
and words that danced upon our tongues
forget you, no
yet if i do, it will be only for a moment
and thankful for that moment, i'll love you even more